The Noisy A-hole Who Lives In the Unit Above You...

...is apparently me.

Gasp! I know, I swear I'm quiet, but my neighbor downstairs wants to break my legs dislikes me.

The uber emo kid, Matt, (who I’d like to note also plays his angry music so loud I suspect he'll need a hearing aid at 34) who lives below me wrote me a lovely letter a couple of months ago which was written to the tune of: pretty please stop wearing your heels, smiley face, smiley face, thanks! Smiley face - or something like that. – 8M

After hearing him bash the ceiling with what sounded like a broom stick numerous times yesterday morning, I had a funny feeling that I was going to get an angry letter again.

The note that I found slipped under my door after work yesterday reads: If possible, please don't walk around with shoes/boots/etc. at 7:30-8am. I work till 4:30am and literally just get to sleep to be woken up. It's becoming a trend I want to break -8M

Break? Is that a threat?

Kidding.

What I imagine every time he bangs the ceiling...

He’s also come up to my apartment a separate time and pounded on my door (around 6:45 when I’m getting home from work) to let me know he’s recording so I should keep it down. Areyouserious? Please tell me that the lyrics that I hear you screaming in your bathroom below mine are not being recorded.

No I really do think he's pissed, and I know some of you are saying to me, "hey a-hole, listen to him because I remember this one time I lived below a dumbface who wore heels all the time too and it sounded like the ceiling will break through"

OK, I know! I really really really have tried to become more aware of my movement in my apartment - which is around 6-10 pm, when he’s up and about and 7-8 am, when he’s apparently sleeping. In fact, the only time I wear shoes in my apartment is when I'm LITERALLY right about to leave for work in the morning. When Emo boy is going to sleep, I know.

Did I mention he plays his music ungodly loud? Oh I did, didn't I?

I'm not kidding its ridiculously loud.

So anyway, here will is my imaginary letter to him (suggestions/tweaks welcome):

Dear dark, mysterious and uber Emo musician 8M –

My apologies about my noisy heels in the morning, I’ll try be EVEN more aware. (Yes, TBF and I say whoops, sorry Matt, every time we make a loud noise) Please note that the only time I wear my heels snow boots in the morning is when I’m walking three steps from my chair, where I put my shoes on, to the door, which is about 3 feet away. I’m sorry that my noise for one minute yesterday morning when I was about to leave my apartment awakened your odd ass hours of slumber. Have you thought about how you have the rest of the 8 hours that I’m gone during the day to sleep peacefully and I never really get a break from your blasting music?

Additionally, similar to how I should respect your odd ass hours of slumber, please respect mine and even when I’m awake as well. I understand you are pursuing a musical career, however I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m attending a screaming music concert before I go to bed at a normal time because your music is blasting. If I feel my bed vibrating, your volume level is probably too loud. Also, just because people aren’t sleeping in the middle of the day on the weekends doesn’t mean you have the right to turn up your volume to 10 notches. If I have to turn MY Gaga up because she’s being interrupted by your music, that’s probably too loud.

I pray for your ears.

Thanks and best of luck in all your musical endeavors,
9M

Again, suggestions and alterations are welcome.

Is it okay that I'm annoyed that I cannot move in my apartment at all without being concerned I'm messing up a recording or awakening the musical genius?

Ugh. End of rant.